Yes i understand....
If you want to,
Say it over and over,
Scream it in my face,
Spit it in my face.
I'm the most selfish person alive..
I don't care about anyone but myself,
I'm stupid, very very stupid.
A liability,
A invalid.
Now we push against each other,
The situation getting worse and worse.
I don't want to be around you and you don't want to be around me....
A downwards spiral...
Messed up so many times before that even the small things can push you over the edge now.
THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMELS BACK.
Throw it in my face, look at me in disgust, tell me how bad i am....
You don't think i don't know I'm a horrible person! What i have done is wrong!?!?!?
I don't need it thrown in my face every time i see you.
How good the feelings is... to be hitting 19 and be the biggest disappointment around.
I don't want to go back to England, this is my home now.
I'll do anything i can to stay here.
I'm not leaving home again,
Not leaving people i love and care for behind.
But for the time being it's o.k, because no-one in England wants me either.
They all know what a horrible person i am, so they don't want me either....
So i shall just cry myself to sleep and think,
How I'm stupid and a liability.
Cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry....
i'll cry for as long as i want.
Until my head hurts and my nose runs and i can't cry any more....
Cos now, yes..... even if it is my fault..... I feel like poo.
I UNDERSTAND......
Yes maybe i do deserve it.......
Your right....
Sorry I'm nothing but a let down...
Please leave the wound now to heel, you have thrown enough salt into it already.
Please....
My blog, my thoughts....
1 comments:
All you need to do is THINK about OTHERS... Take the "key situation"...how do you think he feelss knowing that SOMEWHERE out there a house key is LOST and he REGULARILY leaves his family behind...? You see the bad all the time...BUT yesterday HE rang ME to discuss a condo opportunity he'd found for you and was prepared to subsidise...I said I didn't think it was a good idea...that you were too immature and irresponsible at present etc etc...he argued with me saying I must give you a chance...etc etc...then he finds you sneaking around with the maid because you've LOST YOUR KEY SOMEWHERE...it prooved what I was saying dont you think? What if you had your own condo and had lost the key? Would you have slept in the street??!!! Try to consider what the affects of your actions on yourself and others - it will help mould you in to a better person and gain your respect back...
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